That sounds pretty simple. And it is. It's something we hear parents telling their children: stop whining.
What is whining, and why is it so destructive?
Whining is complaining. Whining is blaming others. Whining is having a victim mentality. And it is dangerous because it determines who we put in control of our lives.
Successful People Think They Are in Control
As a matter of scientific fact, successful people think they have more control than they actually have. Unsuccessful people think of themselves as victims — victims of circumstance, of their parents, of their bosses, of their mates, of just about everyone and everything when something goes wrong.
They won't accept accountability or take responsibility. They take the position of "it's not my fault" — and then defend that position with all of their being. They can become amazingly creative in explaining why it's not their fault.
Here's the real problem: if it's not your fault, if you had nothing to do with the outcome, then you can't do a single thing to prevent it from happening again. You're a victim. Victims are helpless. And since they're helpless, they never engage in trying to change an outcome. They shut down.
Alibis vs. Success
If you observe carefully, you will notice the most bizarre behavior in average performers: they would rather have an alibi than a success. Since a solid alibi is their preference, they spend their energy establishing it — placing blame, pointing out excuses, complaining about situations and the actions of other people.
I once heard a line I've quoted many times since: "You can fix the blame or you can fix the problem, but you can't fix both."
Whining, blaming, and complaining are not just unproductive — they're destructive. They divert energy from resolution and accomplishment toward building alibis and excuses for failure. The core of Rule 3 is personal accountability. Successful people take accountability for everything that happens in their life. Those who whine, blame, and complain do not find solutions or success.
There You Have It
Three simple rules. So simple you can recite them in a few seconds:
- Rule 1: Understand your most valuable asset.
- Rule 2: Have deep gratitude for all outcomes.
- Rule 3: No whining.
So powerful that they decide who succeeds and who fails.
Going Deeper
There are different levels of understanding these rules. At first, application begins at the surface. Understanding your most valuable asset starts with telling the truth and keeping your commitments. But it goes much deeper than that — and in order to see the finer points, you must first master the basics.
This is true in almost every discipline. In the martial arts, a limited number of moves are practiced over and over to gain higher levels of mastery. At the highest levels, those same basic moves combine to accomplish amazing things. The key is practice, training, and commitment.
Implementation Keys
These rules are not something you read a few times and think "I've got it." You haven't got it. Getting it will take a lifetime of dedication, training, and practice. But even though you can't begin as a black belt, you will gain immediate benefits from your initial application.
Consider yourself in training. Practice. Evaluate yourself. Give yourself weekly performance reviews. Keep a journal. Find a partner and teach them as you learn. Give each other honest, constructive feedback. The best way to master any discipline is to teach it.
Teach the power of the 3 Simple Rules to your kids, your spouse, your coworkers, your staff, your team. Go on a personal crusade. Wouldn't it be extraordinary if everyone you dealt with for the rest of your life were deeply rooted in these three rules?
Give it a little thought, and you'll come to the conclusion that almost every frustration and disappointment we face can be traced back to a violation of one of these three simple rules.
Download the Free eBook
Get all three rules in a single printable PDF — share it with your team, your family, or anyone who wants to succeed.
Download PDF